Perfectionism often gets a bad rap. It’s frequently painted as a flaw—something dysfunctional that holds us back. But what if perfectionism wasn’t something to overcome or erase, but rather something to refine?
Like many personality traits, perfectionism exists on a spectrum. At one end, it can be a powerful driver of excellence. At the other, it can lead to burnout, self-doubt, and anxiety.
When I first read research on this, I let out a sigh of relief. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist (and often, proudly so), I was tired of hearing how this part of me was a problem.
But learning that perfectionism could actually work in my favour? That was a game-changer.
Because instead of trying to suppress or “fix” it, I realised I could shift it—nudge it toward a healthier expression that served me instead of sabotaging me.
And that’s what I want to help you do, too. Let’s break down what healthy vs. unhealthy perfectionism looks like—and how you can turn this trait into your greatest asset in business and in life.
The link between perfectionism and burnout
Let’s start with the elephant in the room: Perfectionism, when expressed in a maladaptive way, is one of the biggest risk factors for burnout.
Though perfectionists may have greater motivation and drive than some, working harder and longer, any potential benefit is offset by the eventual detrimental side effects, such as mental health difficulties.
This is exactly what the Harvard Business Review team found when they conducted a meta-analysis of 95 studies, from the 80’s to present day, to answer the question – are perfectionists better performers at work? [Source].
The wider research supports this – those who are perfectionists have higher levels of stress, burnout and anxiety, and are more prone to depression [Source; Source; Source; Source; Source].
This doesn’t mean perfectionism is inherently bad. It just means we need to channel it differently.
Healthy perfectionism
At its best, perfectionism can be a strength. Those with healthy perfectionism hold themselves to high personal standards. They are driven by a desire for self-improvement and excellence—but crucially, they also find satisfaction in their efforts [Source].
Psychologists suggest that healthy perfectionism often stems from a positive early environment. If your parents or teachers encouraged high standards but were also supportive and flexible, you may have developed a healthy relationship with striving. You modelled their balanced approach, and as a result, you can pursue success without tying your self-worth to it.
Healthy perfectionism is strongly associated with conscientiousness, a personality trait linked to achievement, emotional resilience, and long-term success.
Unhealthy perfectionism
At the extreme end of the perfectionism spectrum lies maladaptive perfectionism—a pattern of setting rigid, unattainably high standards, coupled with self-criticism that robs you of any sense of accomplishment. This often leads to anxiety, self-doubt, and a constant feeling of falling short [Source].
Unhealthy perfectionism is strongly correlated with neuroticism and often has roots in childhood experiences.
The role of parenting as a root cause of perfectionism is just a common theoretical theme, so let’s not be too hard on them, ok, they did the best they could with the tools they had available at the time. We get to change things moving forward.
Hallmarks of unhealthy perfectionism
Wondering if maladaptive perfectionism is at play in your life? Here are some common hallmarks:
- Rigid, unrealistic standards – Goals aren’t just high; they’re inflexible. Falling short feels like failure, rather than a sign the goal may need adjusting
- Fear of failure – Perfectionism is often fueled by deep fears: of being ‘found out’, of making mistakes, of being judged, of losing control. The underlying belief? That perfection equals safety
- Self-criticism – Perfectionists tend to be their own harshest critics. This not only diminishes goal attainment [Source], but it also fosters feelings of unworthiness—because self-worth is conditional upon performance (ouch!)
- Procrastination and avoidance – The fear of getting things “wrong” can lead to putting things off indefinitely or struggling to finish projects
Thankfully, we can learn to channel perfectionism in a healthy way. Here are two powerful mindset shifts and one key practice to embrace moving forward.
🌼 Mindset shift #1: Pursue growth and excellence for the purpose of self-development, not the approval of others
Your high standards are your competitive edge! They drive you toward excellence and enable continuous self-improvement. This is fundamentally different from maladaptive perfectionism, which is fuelled by a fear of not being enough and a need for validation or approval from others.
Striving for self-improvement because you genuinely want to grow, learn, or challenge yourself reflects an internal locus of control—you believe your actions shape your outcomes. This mindset is linked to greater success in both personal and professional life. It’s also associated with increased brain activity in the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for decision-making, planning, and self-regulation.
Conversely, striving for external validation or approval is driven by external forces—whether it’s how others perceive you or whether you “measure up.” In these cases, your sense of control is tied to factors outside of your influence.
So, shift your focus inward. If you don’t meet the mark, resist the urge to punish yourself. There’s no need for self-recrimination—you’ve acted in the pursuit of growth, and that’s worth acknowledging. Reflect, adjust, and keep moving forward.
🌼 Mindset shift #2: What is perfect no longer has room to develop and grow
Anything that is truly “perfect” is stagnant—because it has nowhere left to go. And since healthy perfectionism is motivated by self-improvement, demanding perfection out of the gate actually contradicts the very thing you’re striving for.
Think of perfectionism as a work in progress.
You can craft your project/offering/design/whatever it is you are working on, over time. It can be polished and refined out in the field, as you go. Heck – Leonardo DaVinci worked on the Mona Lisa for four years! Let those shoulders relax – you’ll get there!
🌼 Practice: Self-compassion
Underneath maladaptive perfectionism often lies a deep fear of not being enough. The antidote? Self-compassion.
📚 A 2019 study found higher self-compassion was associated with lower degrees of unhealthy perfectionism [Source].
There are many ways to practice this, but one of the most profound comes from an idea the lovely Pamela Anderson shared in a journal entry:
🖤 We might be kinder to ourselves if we keep a young picture of ourselves in our wallet, or on our phones… and look to this little person and consider sensitively when making life’s decisions… for sometimes it seems we will do for others what we won’t do for ourselves, an innocent child lives in everyone… a parallel life maybe… a perspective that might save us. 🖤
Yes. I 100% agree Pam.
Try this: Take ten minutes today. Find a photo of yourself as a child. Look at that little version of you.
Imagine speaking to her, what tone would you use, how gentle would you be? What would you say to her, if you knew she was burdening herself so greatly with all of these expectations and self-criticisms, pushing so hard, working over-time… I’m sure you would be supportive, encouraging, reassuring, and I’m also sure you’d let her know that she is loved for who she is, and not what she does or achieves.
Final thoughts
Perfectionism doesn’t have to be a burden. It can be your Midas touch—if you learn how to wield it.
So go ahead, hold yourself to high standards. Strive for excellence. But also, give yourself space to grow, to iterate, and to be human.
Because perfection isn’t what makes you valuable. You are valuable, just as you are.
Lauren, x.
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